AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
