***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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