it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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