I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
