i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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