i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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