I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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