32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
