He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
