i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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