You're so nebulous sometimes
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if i died would you start the facebook group?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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