this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have already put on my inside pants.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
