u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
