guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
