i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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