I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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