after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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