saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
