You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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