Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
