You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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