Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
