I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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