I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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