Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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