you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
