sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
