Tell her she can't have a vagina
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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