Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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