2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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