It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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