If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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