the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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