I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
