so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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