This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
