Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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