i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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