standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize