Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
