I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
