The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
