Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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