tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
