please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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