I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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