Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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