the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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