playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
