Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
zippers are such a cool invention
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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