Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
