ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
