I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
