At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
