the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
