She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
