so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
