So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
