We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What drink are we having for lunch?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize